I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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