ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
where are my eyebrows?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
