the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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