The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
