I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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