you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
