Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
