he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
