Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
