Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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