and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
