Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
