So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
