honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
