and she was petting her beer can
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
