Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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