I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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