PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
