i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
