D3 body, D1 cock
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
