i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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