WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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