nut hugger
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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