I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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