Christians are straight up FREAKS
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
