I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
