I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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