have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
