Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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