my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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