I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
