Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
