it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
