"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
