Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
