This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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