i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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