Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize