we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
