I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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