This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
cat food counts as protein by the way
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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