I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
