Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
