Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
