You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
