Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
