Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
