I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
