So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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