he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
