I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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