Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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