problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
