Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
