Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
