i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
