Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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