You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
