WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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