why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize