Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
