You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Damn victory sex feels great
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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